Screwed up.

So the job fell through and I need to find a way to make $400 bucks this week because everyone is mad at me, I'm not even sure where Mike and I stand as of right now. I know his whole family hates me and he can't trust me now. I really fucked up and need help.

Anyone reading this know of something I can do for some cash let me know.

=(

Mikes graduation was awesome, I cried! I have pictures up on FaceBook so if you are my friend on their go check 'em out. He look so freakin hot in his Class A's. =) I even got to wrestle ;-) with him for a bit. LOL but it would have gotten better if his family would have left us alone in the hotel room. But whatever I at leave was king of the bed for a bit cause I kept knocking him off. =) Then he put me in a head lock so I stopped. lol


Anyways, I love him more than anything else in the world and I feel like I don't deserve him. I did something without asking him and it put him and I both in a bind and he's not happy with me at all and I'm trying not to be worried about what happened but it's hard because I'm always worrying about everything. But anyways he's mad at me and keeps saying he's not but I can tell that he is. I just want to go forward in time to see how all this turns out, to see what I have to do to fix all of this. =(

Anyways I'm depressed which is never good.
Starting work soon.
Leaving for Ft. Worth tomorrow and then on to Austin for the concert.
A few other things but everything is up in the air right now.

Guys just keep me in your thoughts and/or prayers I need positive thoughts coming my way and def need prayers.

Stace

My brother, the wonderfully selfish asshole.

I am in the way back seat of my parents car riding to take Joshua to Hardshells on the North West side of Ft. Wroth. Chuck, Patsy, Carey, Dorothy, and I are on the way to Mikes basic training graduation. Josh has to be dropped off, which if I had my way he'd be hitchhiking right now. He told us that it was in Dallas about 20 minutes off of 45. What a load of shit. We are currently driving 1 hour and 43 minutes out of our way to take him to fucking Ft. Worth. We already got an hour late star and now we have to fucking go all the way out there to take his punk ass!? What the hell could e more selfish!? We will no be late to the meet and greet more than likely because of Josh and now everyone is telling em to calm down as if this is no big deal but it is. Yeah Mike will still be there when we get there but I wanted to be there for everything, it's not like he will be graduating from basic again. I am beyond pissed off, if I could kill him and not get in trouble he'd be dead. I just can't believe it. So I called mom and she called him to clearify and he's bad talking me saying shit that isn't true that I've done and said since I found out and said that he told me and I was fine with it. No he told me 20 minutes off of 45 in DALLAS! The North West side of Ft. Worth is not the East side of Dallas! So mom told me to get over it! No this is why my family is on crack. They don't do things on scheduale and don't care if they put anyone else out. Mark my words that if we miss the meet and greet there will be hell to pay and no one has ever seen me mad before if that happens.

rawr....?

Tears went into making that. Enjoy.

I've been writing a lot, always finding stuff to add. Just a silly story but it's interesting to me and I've already written a lot. Not going to stop now.

Well it's 3:21:41 a.m and I'm needed sleep.

Nothing exciting has happened to report on. I am still finding new ways to prove just how slow I really am sometimes. Actually no, my mouth just talks faster then my brian wants it to, okay no it's true. I'm slow.

I'm off to Ft. Leonard Wood tomorrow night at 7, have to be up there at like 9:00 a.m on Wednesday for "meet and greet" and then we get to have an on base pass with Michael for the day, then Thursday is the graduation ceremony and we get to check him out for an all day off base pass. Has to be back by 9:00 p.m for lights outs then he ships out to GFAFB on Friday for 27 weeks. It's a 7 hour car ride, which really isn't to bad seeing that I had a blast on the drive back to Houston from Long Beach, but still I'll be alone and I have such terrible a.d.d, it's going to be boring!

Huntington will be out of the shop on the 12th! I'm excited to get my lovely car back. Stupid kids! Grrrr.

Ok need sleep.

good night my loves and remember that you need to love people to get love in return and respect those you want respect from, because if you don't none will be given.

I give what I get so give good. <-- #true

(p.s. I'm addicted to twitter go follow me? @StaceFagan)

Love & Rocket ships,
Stacie

Dead Car/Dead iPod/Walk/Why I'm Thankful.

Ok so you might read my other blog, you might not, either way here's the story...

Dead Car: A couple weeks ago I was driving out an old farm road in the county going to help a friend when these two little punks threw 3 logs at my car. I saw them right as they were pulling back to throw them so I swerved, now here I am alone in the middle of no where at 2:30am with a shattered windshield, stalled car, and I'm freaking out. Well now my car, Huntington, (yes it's named) is in the shop getting fixed, needs a new back door, new windshield, has to have the whole right side repainted, and they have to put a new steel piece in beside the windshield because when I swerved (thank god I did) it hit the steel frame and really messed it up.

Dead iPod: My iPod is dead, it sucks, Don't know what's up or if it's even under warrenty still. So I am using my moms 120gb Zune, however when she was given this Zune she didn't get the sync cable for it so Andy (follow on twitter @andy065) is letting me borrow his cable. I was able to get some on the song put on it but my brother in his infinate wisdom disconected the Zune about 47% of the way through Syncing because I'm having to use his computer cause I use a MacBook Pro and don't have it all set up to run Windows yet. So anyway's 47% through apparently got 30 Seconds to Mars on it and....

Walk: On my walk from taking the truck to the shop up the road a ways I was lucky enough to get to listen to them. =) Josh was with me and let me tell you, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. So anyways, we had to walk because my cars at the shop, mom and dad are at work in his car, Josh let his car go to shit, and that completes the Fagan cars besides my '63 Falcon thats out at the farm.

Anyways I am thankful for:
My car getting fixed.
My boyfriend for giving me the money to get it fixed (even though he doesn't have a whole lot)
I'm thankful for ^him not being mad at me.
Thankful for Andy letting me borrow the cable.
Thankful that 30 Seconds to Mars gives us amazing music to listen to.
Thankful that mom is letting us take the truck to Mo for Michaels Basic Training graduation.
and I'm thankful that I have a car, I have Michael, that I have the privlage to listen to music and that I have an iPod even though it's broke, I'm thankful that I have friends and an awesome family that, yes, gets on my nerves and pisses me off beyond belief, but they love me and want me to be happy.

first and advice

I have this new blog site because my so called flesh and blood likes to cause drama and twist anything I say around and make it sound bad, and not in the funny way.
Sad it came down to that but it's life. =) Water off a ducks back.

Anyway, lets get crackin on posting.


I have this weird feeling, self hate, maybe regret, I'm not sure, I try not to let myself feel those two things. It only brings me down and I really try to be a happy person. I should be happy right now, everything is looking UP and I have some amazing friends, I guess it's true, you treat someone well and they will treat you the same way in return, but at the same time I feel like a few friends have and are taking advantage of me in the past week and I feel like it will come back and bite me in the butt. Than again, I let them for Lord knows what reason, it was stupid selfish wants on my behalf and in a way theirs. I hate letting people down and disappointing my loved ones and I know that if they found out it would disappoint them immensely and I don't know what to do. It would be the end of a lot of things if this got out.
Advice?
Anyone?
Ok maybe not.

I just need to think this through on my own I guess, it kind of sucks but thats life, you make mistakes and you learn from them.
I have a lot of learning to do.

Otherwise I have some cool friends that I wouldn't trade for anything and I'd do anything for them, I hope some of them feel the same way. It'd be nice to know I guess.


Anyway it's early but I'm exhausted. Good night and sweet dreams.

Stace